SERMON'S REVIEW >> How the way we can be BLESSED BY GOD :)

Thanks God for giving me an opportunity to breath and live till today.

It's Sunday, I got up from my deeper sleep then I took a shower. I dressed up myself and preparing go to my own church. A long of my journey I saw  a beautiful view God has created , I could see a beautiful mountain and how green rice field there. I proceed in , and helped my friend to search the songs for praise and worship later. I was rejoice when a song leader led us to praise HIS HOLY NAME , and this is what I am waiting when I am home >> sermon. Yes , I really miss every sermon my father deliver ( especially when I am being far away from home ). It is entitle : How the way we can be BLESSED BY GOD :) , when I heard that title I didn't know why I felt happy.

It's said that : "sometimes we, as a follower of Christ, we really often forced God to do our will. It's the same with we mock God's name. And I got an answers about my question ( How the way we can be BLESSED BY GOD). there are some way we can do :

1st. We aren't allowed to force GOD . We do our part while God do His part

2nd. We have to be a diligent men as the proverbs indicates us to see how a life of ants. God will bless us if we diligent in everything we can do. Let us work as we work for God ( with all your heart , sincerely ).

3rd. We have to sow . for those who sow, they will reap. If we can only ask to God without do anything, we'll reap that God doesn't answer our prayer. Like Isaac , when he was in Philistine God commanded him not to moved to Egypt. In crisis-day there, Isaac sowed his flour and he became richer and prosperous for God BLESSED him. it is written on the Bible that : whoever sow a little, they will reap in a little too.. but whoever sow a lot , they will reap in a big quantity . God will provide us a seed for sowing and multiply it .

I was really blessed, and correct my heart sometimes I am still do forced to God for every will I have. I will do that way , in order God bless me. Now , I have a dream where I have to struggle hard for this , I know where it's impossible for us, but it's possible in GOD. The most important things is we can't force GOD, we do God do in the same time.. God bless us :)

saat kamu benar-benar tidak dipilih (keadaan)

Cinta adalah sesuatu yang indah.... ada motto yang bilang : " No Love No Life " . . Yups, emang bener banget.. teman... kata temen-temen cinta itu indah, ada yang bilang cinta itu menyebalkan, bikin sedih n bikin semangat juga :).

Recently, I met a guy. He is older than me, First time I saw him I considered HIM as a charming prince..He is talkative, has a great sense of humor and He is ice breaker I guess, He can melt my heart feelings *halah lebayy * . . .

I don't know why.. I feel comfort when He is beside me, I can enjoy His joke actually.. Instead, he almost makes me cry because of his funnies jokes. I can fool everyone with my fake smile, even in front of him I will say that I have no special feeling with him. But with my heart I can't fool myself 'cause I honestly I have special feeling on him. O God,day by day I always think about him everything I do is only focuses on him. Forgive me GOD, he takes my time alot, and I do thinking about him till now.. :(.. I have a strange principle like : I won't tell my feeling to whom I love till he knows by himself. I am really afraid of losing him, and actually I still confuse with my own feeling. Do I love him as a lovers or as a brother and sister??. I doubt!! I can't choose one of them. You know, in my opinion pacar or boyfriend is just a label , and I don't want make it important. But some of my friends says that STATUS IS REALLY IMPORTANT, IT TIES YOU AND HIM.. WHY YOU CAN SAY LIKE WHAT YOU HAVE SAID BEFORE??? .. Yes I know, I am wrong and actually I am a kind of jealous person. I want to posess someone, but don't want to lose him too. If I apply in my romance like this : I love someone, and I don't want to have any label or status ( coz I guess..It's not the important thing) but I want to posses him. so am I an egoistic person???? 

But, I realize now.. that I'll never be the one with him.. I believe he just consider me as his friends no more. and I know I can't urge someone to be mine without any sincere. I know, he loves somebody else, till now I still keep my feeling inside. I don't know whether he knows or not, but if I can guess he has already known what I feel but I know he's too kind, he never try to stay away from me :)

I am sad ( yes, it's true ) 'cause I don't get any feedback from him ( answers yes about my confession, but I think he will say "NO" ) and this is the condition that you never be picked by him ..

But, I have to commit with my principle.. If I have made a decision not to confess my feeling it means that I am ready with the risks itself. 

I am sad, but I'm happy... even I only see his face, his sweet smile, also his joke.. It's enough for me, let me keep this inside by myself. This condition makes me stronger than I used to be... It is better I see his face than I confess my feeling but he stay away from me...

I know eventually we will together.. ONE SWEET DAY , I don't know.. Let God do my rest :D

" I surrender on you my LORD..You know what I feel inside. I stop to pursue him :( let me see your better plan upon me LORD "

- the end -

2.10 a.m

wah... ternyata hari udah pagi yah... udah ngantuk bener nii.... kan aku mau pulkam besok...see you tomorrow.. 

aku pasti kembali kok, nulis lagi tentunya....

aku bobok dulu yah =D... God bless, ,

Sebatas Mimpi :)

pedih bila kuingat lagi
janji yang pernah kita ucapkan dulu
mengapa kini kau ubah semuanya
tak mengerti, tak mengerti aku

reff:
biarkanlah cinta tak berbalas bila memang harus
ku nikmati cinta hanya sebatas mimpi
biar saja kasih indah tak pernah lekat
walau semua ini hanya sebatas mimpi

kasih ingatkah saat-saat mesra
berdua selalu kita dalam cinta
mengapa kini kau ubah semuanya
tak mengerti, tak mengerti aku

tak kusangka semuanya berakhir
hanya karena kau berpaling

huuu hanya sebatas mimpi

Ps. Lagu ini bagus banget ^^, 

Thursday, March 21st 2011 at 00.11 WIB

Malam ini kena syndrom INSOMNIA... huh, nggak tahu kenapa nih... aku tiap malam nggak bisa tidur dengan pulas.

Hari ini hari terakhir aku menginap di kota Salatiga tercinta, soalnya besok aku udah harus pulkam ke kota Boja.

Rasanya sedih banget buat ninggalin semuanya disini, banyak kenangan yang aku punya disini. Tapi aku harus tetep pulang *mewek..

Dulu aku sempat takut, kalo aku sampai nggak dapet temen disini. Tapi Puji Tuhan dengan talenta yang aku punya akhirnya aku bisa punya banyak teman. Banyak kenangan yang aku abisin disini sama mereka, ada senang juga ada susahnya. Jujur, malam ini rasanya aku pingin nangis sekenceng-kencengnya. Aku nggak bisa bohong kalo aku sebenernya nggak pingin pisah ma temen-temen.Seharusnya aku nggak boleh egois, menginginkan mereka selalu ada buat aku. Mereka punya keluarga, dan kehidupan yang sama sekali nggak boleh aku campuri. Liburan semester ini terasa lama banget, khususnya buat aku yang nggak ikut Semester Pendek. Hampir 5 bulan kalau ku itung-itung, lamaa banget. Tadi malem, aku di kasih kesempatan buat ikut acara kumpul bareng ma temen-temen. Acaranya sih judulnya penutupan dan pembubaran panitia gitu deh, makan bersama. Aku masih ingat gurauan & canda mereka, aku nggak bakalan isa lupa malam ini. Hatiku rasanya ingin berontak, berharap pertemuan tadi nggak pernah bakalan berakhir. Aku pinginnya bareng mereka terus, ada rasa kenyamanan yang aku dapet pas bareng mereka. Gonna miss you all guys, ,

WELCOME MY LONG HOLIDAY

I've just realized that I've just finished my second semester in ED. Study in ED is challenging and demanding. At the first time I thought that It supposed to be great, but I could see the reality that my first and second semester was really demanding and challenging. I tried to adapt with the lecturer and all material which was written in English. Honestly, I felt down when I entered for my first class. Did you imagine that during the lessons the lecture explained us with English???? My tenant who is also my lecture said that : It only the beginning, it is normal if  you get shock at the moment. Trust me, You'll understand what they say with a long process. It needs PROCESS !! . then, I tried to listen her advice and now I can understand what they are saying. I am really blessed being here as students of ED ^^, I meet the qualified lecturers, great friends, and great community. It was God's gift given to me . At the first semester, I got my result of my study. It wasn't disappointing me, God knows my ability. Once, I was really dissapointed, why I couldn't reach 3.00 ( my result approached it ; i mean almost ).

here, I have many friends . . . but I only closed with some of them... most of them are girls.... They consist of 4 girls. 3 of them are my friends in ED, and the rest is my tenant.

They are :

1.

Her name is Della Nathania a.k.a Dalijah . . . She is the most mature in my groups. One of her hobbies is eating. She can eat lots of food when she is hungry . . . She is the most patient person, she is a good motivator also great adviser :), she is generous... after she met me her sense of humor develops quickly :) . . She never cry in front of us, she is the tough girl =D

2.

Her name is Rea Fang a.k.a Rosiyem . . . pacarnya Rumiyin :) She also to be called as Miss Toilet, coz when we gather in Della's boarding house she really often visit the toilet. so that's why we call her with Miss Toilet. She is fashionable enough, sometimes she is childish ( coz, she is the youngest girl here ). she loves acting so much, she is talkative, she is quite generous, but the weakness of her is that she is LOLA sometimes ( Peace Re ). . . Almost forget!! she is a big fans and Hello Kitty's stuff collector.

3.

The next is Dessy a.k.a Dariyem.... she is funny girl, has a good sense of humor, she is talkative, she is the one who can make me laugh loudly, even there's nothing funny things. she's a caring girl, kindhearted, but sometimes she is stubborn. She likes sleeping on Della's bed :)

 4. 

Her name is Indri. She is my tenant, we stay in the same boarding house. She is talkative, she is smart, she like eating like Della, she loves reading comics so much.... She can sit in the front of TV watching the film all night , , , * betah banget * . . . she likes shopping , also fashionable, she can sing. I feel trembling when she sings a song for me ^^, we ever spent time together in her room for singing together....

and the last , , , is Me..... 

i have many a.k.a like pisang, phobia, Miss Priest, or Sofiatun Bananawati, or atun... hhahahahaha.... Let me tell you about me :)

i am soft (huekss) . . I love singing, writing, reading, and playing facebook. According to them I am a freak person, hahaha.... I begin laugh by myself even there's no funny things to laugh. I am the funniest person of us. Actually I don't know why everything I do seems looks funny like the way I walk. From the simple things I look funny. I like laughing both myself or other, I am a loyal person, so be careful with my heart ;),  I am phobia of Banana.... I'm sweet enough :) . . .

well,,,, my second semester ends now... We'll say goodbye for a long time.... gonna miss you guys :'(

this is for you guys ....

thanks for being my friends here .... Love you so much guys :)

CATATAN SEORANG GADIS Part 1

INI ADALAH CATATAN SEORANG GADIS YANG SEDANG MENCARI SIAPA CINTA SEJATINYA... CINTA YANG SELAMA 19 TAHUN IA DAMBAKAN . . . . .

Seorang gadis sebut saja dia bernama Siti, Siti adalah sesosok cewek yang manis, supel, ceria, santun, dan berbudi luhur. Sebenarnya dia adalah tipikal orang yang introvert,sekaligus extrovert. Terkadang dia bisa menangis sejadi-jadinya, kadang juga dia bisa tertawa lepas sampai semua orang ikut tertawa olehnya. Dalam keceriaan si Siti, ternyata si Siti menyimpan sebuah kerinduan yang amat dalam. Dia ingin memiliki cinta yang semua cewek dapetin. Sebenernya dia nggak jelek-jelek amat, dia dikarunia wajah manis, kulit yang agak gelap namun seksi, pembawaan yang baik. namun ternyata, semua itu membuat Siti minder apalagi dengan anugerah badan yang agak berisi yang Tuhan kasih buat dia. Siti beranggapan kalo semua hal yang dia punya itu nggak ada apa-apanya dibanding teman-temannya yang lain ( baca : cewek ). Di sekolah Siti punya banyak teman, tapi si Siti cuma bisa curhat ma satu teman kecilnya yang namanya Pariyem. Siti dan Pariyem bagai langit dan bumi pokoknya, Pariyem cantik banget, sedangkan si Siti sebaliknya ( nggak jelek2 amat si cuma cantiknya kebanyakan si Pariyem ). Si Siti curhat banyak tentang kegalauannya sama si Pariyem, Pariyem bilang : "kamu pasti bakal nemuin cinta sejatimu sit, tapi aku nggak tahu kapan Tuhan kasih buat kamu, kita cuma bisa nunggu Sit. Kamu jangan pernah minder ma apa yang kamu punya sekarang, kamu cantik sit..manis malah, kamu pinter. nggak usah minder ya Sit!!!" . Siti terdiam, Pariyem membuat Siti sadar kalo selama ini dia belum bersyukur ma apa yang Tuhan kasih. Pariyem emang temen Siti yang paling mengerti keadaan si Siti. Mereka berdua udah temenan lama sejak mereka duduk di bangku SD. Siti, tetap berjuang keras untuk mendapatkan cinta sejatinya. Dia memang berkali-kali jatuh untuk hal ini, dia pernah merasakan indahnya cinta yang walaupun cuma beberapa bulan yang membuat dia merasa down pake banget. Siapa yang perlu disalahkan si Siti atau si Paijo yang notabenenya kakak kelas Siti????. Si Siti merasa dirinya dipermainkan oleh si Paijo, Si Paijo bagi seorang Siti adalah sosok yang tak tergantikan. Paijo = punya selera humor yang tinggi, berwawasan luas, dan yang paling penting adalah si Paijo bisa membuat Siti nyaman. Siti sampai sekarang berusaha untuk tidak mengingat setiap momen yang di habiskan dengan si Paijo. Pernah, mereka berdua duduk di bawah sinar rembulan yang membuat Siti merasa bahwa malam itu malam milik mereka berdua. Siti, entah apa yang dia rasakan dia mulai menyukai si Paijo. Alasan si Siti lumayan simple yaitu si Paijo berhasil merebut hati Siti. Sebetulnya si Paijo juga merasakan hal yang sama yang Siti rasakan. Paijo pernah menanyakan pada Siti apa benar dia pacaran sama Narjo??? Siti kaget, bisa2 nya si Paijo berasumsi kalo si Siti berpacaran sama Narjo padahal si Narjo cuma teman Siti. Dari situ siti mulai merasakan ada hal yang aneh pada Paijo. Siti yakin kalo sebenarnya si Paijo memang memiliki perasaan yang mungkin hanya secuil. tapi itu nggak mungkin, karena Siti tahu kalo si Paijo udah ada yang punya. Siti pernah nglakuin hal yang bodoh yang pernah ia lakukan seumur hidupnya. Dia berdoa sama Tuhan : kapan ya mereka putus.. eh tau2.. paginya si Siti denger dari mulut si Paijo , si Paijo baru aja putus sama pacarnya. Siti sontak kaget pas dia denger kalo si Paijo putus dari pacarnya.. seneng juga sih,,, tapi jahat banget ya si Siti???? Siti dan Paijo melalui hari2 bersama tanpa sebuah status yang jelas. Mereka punya kesamaan,mereka suka liat bintang. Pernah suatu hari si Paijo bales sms si Siti kalo si Paijo bakal nemenin nonton bintang tapi dirumahnya. so sweet banget emang, Siti nggak tanggung-tanggung baca sms dari Paijo berkali-kali. Paijo tahu benar gimana caranya bikin si Siti seneng. 

Bulan april, ulangtahun si Siti... si Paijo sms Siti.. tapi entah kenapa Siti ngerasa kalo ini adalah sms terakhir yang Paijo kirimin buat si Siti.

ni sms dari Paijo buat si Siti : " Selamat Ulangtahun ya dek...semoga panjang umur, tambah setia pelayanan sama Tuhan... pokoknya tambah semuanya yang baik2 deh pokoknya " Siti kaget, panggilan dhek yang selama ini gag pernah di dengar ma Siti, keluar dari mulut si Paijo...

"jadi selama ini aku cuma kamu anggap aku adek Paijo???? apa arti semuanya ini???? "

Siti cuma bisa diem, nggak terasa dia mulai menitikkan airmata. ternyata semua kenangan yang mereka berdua jalani,gag berarti apapun bagi si Paijo. Firasat Siti benar, sms di hari ulangtahunnya jadi sms dari Paijo yang terakhir, sejak saat itu mereka lost contact. Siti berusaha mencari kabar tentang Paijo, kenapa si Paijo ninggalin si Siti disaat dia bener2 butuh si Paijo???? Paijo bahkan nggak ngacuhin keberadaan si Paijo saat hari wisudanya, Siti rasanya ingin menangis sejadi-jadinya., siti mencoba ngungkapin perasaannya lewat tulisan alias si Siti ngirim surat ke Paijo. Disitu dia ngungkapin semua apa yang dia rasain ke Paijo. Kata temannya yang namanya si Kariyem si Paijo cuma ketawa-ketiwi ngebaca surat yang Siti kasih. Paijo cuma bilang kalo suatu hari si Paijo bakal ke rumah si Siti. Si Siti cuma bisa pasrah, dia cuma bisa nunggu dan nggak kan pernah tahu kapan si Paijo bakal datang. Yang terpenting Siti merasa bahagia sekaligus kecewa sama si Paijo, ternyata semua yang mereka lalui bersama means nothing to HIM, tapi si Siti sadar kalo semuanya itu nggak bisa di paksain.Sekarang Siti sedang berusaha untuk menghapus semua rasa yang ada buat si Paijo, walau semuanya nggak gampang tapi si Siti mau berusaha buat nglupain si Paijo. sekarang si Paijo dah nemuin seorang cewek yang bisa nemenin dia kapanpun dan dimanapun dia meh pergi alias dia udah punya pacar. Si Si Siti cuma bisa tersenyum simpul, dalam lubuk hatinya dia bahagia. akhirnya si Paijo mendapatkan seseorang yang lebih baik dari si Siti.

SAPA YA YANG ISA NGGANDENG TANGANKU SUATU HARI NANTI YA KAYAK GINI?????